When planning a wedding that involves children—whether from a previous relationship, a new partnership, or both—thoughtfully including them is one of the most meaningful things you can do. It’s not just about two people joining together; it’s about forming a new family. Making your children feel loved, seen, and valued on your wedding day can set a strong foundation for your future together.
This guide offers detailed, practical ways to include your children in the ceremony, reception, and overall wedding experience. Whether you’re planning a large wedding or a small elopement, the goal remains the same: to create lasting memories that honour your new family unit.
1. The Heart of It All: Why Including Children Matters
Your wedding day marks a significant change not just for you and your partner, but for your children as well. It signals the beginning of a new chapter, a blending of lives and families. Children may feel excitement, nervousness, or even uncertainty about these changes. Including them meaningfully in your wedding ceremony acknowledges their importance in your life and reassures them that they are a cherished part of this new beginning.
It’s about more than symbolic gestures—it’s about creating defining moments for your family.
2. Thoughtful Ways to Involve Children in the Ceremony
There are countless ways to make your children a visible, integral part of your wedding day. Choosing options that fit their age, personality, and comfort level is key.
Assign Special Roles in the Wedding Party
One of the simplest and most traditional ways to involve children is by giving them an official role in the wedding party:
- Flower Girl or Ring Bearer: Young children often love having a special “job” and wearing fancy outfits.
- Junior Bridesmaid or Junior Groomsman: Older children can feel more grown-up with these titles.
- Best Man or Maid of Honour: In special cases, your child can take on a senior role, such as having a son serve as the best man for his new stepdad.
By assigning them a role, children feel recognised and important without putting too much pressure on them.
Mention Children During the Welcome Address
Ask your officiant to personally acknowledge your children during the ceremony’s opening remarks. A simple, heartfelt mention makes them feel seen without the anxiety of speaking or performing themselves.
Example:
“Today, we also celebrate the love that brings this family together. We welcome [child’s name] with open hearts as part of this beautiful new journey.”
Incorporate a Family Unity Ceremony
Unity ceremonies symbolise the coming together of lives, making them ideal for families. Some beautiful options include:
- Sand Ceremony: Each family member pours a different colored sand into a single vessel, creating a vibrant keepsake. Even toddlers can participate with a little help.
- Family Handfasting: Traditionally, handfasting binds a couple’s hands together. Adapt it by binding the hands of all family members with a ribbon or cord to symbolise unity.
- Family Circle: Invite your children to form a circle with you and your partner. The officiant can say a special blessing for the new family.
These small rituals carry profound meaning and give children a visual and tactile way to feel bonded.
Give a Special Gift to the Children
Consider presenting a symbolic gift during the ceremony:
- Jewellery (e.g., a bracelet or necklace)
- Engraved pocket knives or watches for older boys
- Personalised picture frames
- A letter or memory book
You might time this gift exchange just after the rings are exchanged between the couple, marking the moment when the family truly joins together.
Share Personal Vows with the Children
Some couples choose to write personal vows directly to their children. This can be incredibly emotional and powerful. You might say: “Today, I not only promise to love and cherish your [mom/dad], but I also vow to love and support you as my own.”
Short, sincere words can leave an unforgettable impact.
Give Children a Voice (If They Want One)
If your children are willing, invite them to say a few words. They might:
- Read a short poem
- Share a memory
- Simply say, “I’m happy for my family”
Always discuss this with them beforehand to avoid pressure and ensure they feel comfortable.
Ring Warming or Blessing
Pass the wedding rings among close family members, including children, allowing each person to say a silent blessing or prayer over them before they are exchanged.
3. Ways to Include Children in the Reception
The celebration doesn’t stop after the ceremony. Here’s how to keep kids involved during the party:
Plan a Family Dance
Surprise your guests with a choreographed family dance! Learning the dance together beforehand can be a fun bonding activity, and unveiling it during the reception will delight everyone.
Create a Kids’ Dessert or Candy Table
Set up a special table filled with favourite sweets chosen by your children. This simple touch makes them feel special and is guaranteed to be popular with all the younger guests!
Involve Them in the Menu or Drinks
Collaborate with your children to create a signature non-alcoholic “mocktail” named after the family or them personally. Let them help name it and taste-test ingredients beforehand.
4. Tips for Success: Managing Expectations
Children are unpredictable, especially when they are nervous, overwhelmed, or tired. The most important advice is to keep expectations low and flexible.
If your toddler refuses to walk down the aisle or your teenager suddenly gets cold feet about reading their poem, it’s okay. The goal is participation, not perfection. Embrace whatever happens with love and humour.
5. Special Considerations for Blended Families
For blended families, especially, including children can ease transitions and start building trust and bonds early. Thoughtfully acknowledging each child’s place in the new family dynamic can help smooth over fears and uncertainties.
Remember: Some of history’s most beloved families—think the Von Trapps or the Brady Bunch—are blended families. Your wedding can be the joyful beginning of your own unique and cherished family story.
6. For Destination Weddings and Elopements
If you are eloping or having a destination wedding, you can still centre your children in the experience:
- Choose a family-friendly location with fun activities
- Plan a special outing together (like a mini adventure) as part of the wedding trip
- Capture casual family photos alongside formal portraits
Even in a simpler setting, thoughtful inclusion makes a lasting difference.
7. Capture the Moments
Finally, be sure to involve your children in the formal photography and videography. These images will become treasured family memories. Encourage candid moments as well—laughing, hugging, dancing—which will reflect the genuine love shared on your wedding day.
Final Thoughts
Including your children in your wedding is not just a sweet idea—it’s a powerful statement of love, belonging, and commitment. By thoughtfully weaving them into the ceremony and celebration, you acknowledge their central role in your life and honour the beautiful new family you are building together.
No matter which methods you choose, the most important thing is to approach the day with openness, patience, and joy. In doing so, you create a day that will be remembered not just as the day you said “I do” to your partner, but also as the day your whole family said “yes” to a future together.
At RC Events Catering Inc., we understand how important it is to create a wedding experience that reflects the unique love stories and family journeys of our clients. From designing kid-friendly moments to orchestrating seamless receptions filled with laughter, elegance, and heart, our team ensures your children—and your guests—feel cherished every step of the way.
Let us help you craft a wedding celebration that’s not just about two people saying “I do,” but about a family saying “we do.”
Contact RC Events Catering Inc. today to start planning a wedding that will be unforgettable for every member of your new family.
